Supreme vulnerability of oneself is the ultimate form of confidence, the ultimate form of security, thus "the first shall be last and the last shall be first" (Matthew 20:16) and "the one who wants to save his life will lose it" (Mathew 16:25).
The Vatican—-a building of intimidating appearance. It stands a sight of grandeur and sheer antiquity—the symbol of God’s Authority here on earth and over my own heart. It is a sign of assurance that my faith is firm because I do not and cannot know everything; it is exactly this reason that my faith is real and necessary. This is the crux of my vulnerability. The total surrender of my will and intellect rely on God’s firmness. He is Who He says He is and because of that I do not need to pursue every unturned stone and every dilemma. I do not need to suffer in pain the agony of the Body of Christ. God reigns. God is alive. God is over all the earth. I only need to repeat the words, “I trust in You.” My ultimate confidence is not in not knowing but surrendering what I cannot know to His providence.
It is precisely this that makes Catholicism the greatest point of freedom because insecurity is enslavement to fear. This fear is a fear of loss of personhood, but surrender is where your personhood holds its fullest potential. Your freedom is in your enjoyment to just be a child of God, just enjoying the Abba like a child enjoys her parent. Trust in the Lord with all your heart.
God is in control.